The Captain's (Gavin MacLeod) ex-wife (Bonnie Franklin), who is now married to one of the cruise lines' executives, comes on board and is walking all over him and he's letting her. A woman (Meredith Baxter), who's engaged to a congressman (Shelly Novack), upon learning that a nude photo she had taken years ago is coming out in a magazine, tries to make sure he doesn't see it. And a woman (Brenda Sykes), who wants to get married but her boyfriend (Jimmie Walker), who just wants things to stay as they are, follows her wherever the ships docks. Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com

Materialistic Joanne (Jenifer Shaw) dumps her boyfriend Dale Rheinhart (John Ritter) and goes on the cruise with a guy (Mark Thomas) she just met, who drives an expensive car. Dale tries to board but the only available slot can only given to a woman. So Dale steals luggage from female passengers, wears a dress, pretends to be a woman, while sharing a cabin with a woman (Tovah Feldshuh), who's also been dumped at the altar. Maurice and Stella Marshall (Sherman Hemsley and LaWanda Page) are constantly bickering, when they find themselves stuck in a elevator. Janette Bradford (Jaclyn Smith) needs time apart from her husband Lucas (David Knapp) and goes on the cruise, alone. But Lucas has hired P.I. Dennis Kingsley (Dennis Cole) to keep tabs on her. Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com

Barney Mason (Robert Reed) and his ex-wife Terry Larsen (Loretta Swit) meet on the cruise with their new spouses (Pamela Bellwood and Richard Mulligan); Julie's (Lauren Tewes) love interest Jim Wright's (Charles Frank) chaperoning of senior citizens leaves little time for them to be together; teenagers Graham (Scott Baio) and Kelly (Kristy McNichol) find puppy love, together. Written by Maisie Fleckum

Tennis pro Maureen Mitchell (Brenda Benet) runs into sportswriter John Ballard (Bill Bixby), who defamed her in his column. Cyril Wolfe (Milton Berle) annoys his wife Anita (Audra Lindley) and fellow passengers (Lynn Adams and Britt Leach) with constant practical jokes. Mexican April Lopez (Charo) stows away in a laundry hamper. Written by Maisie Fleckum

Isaac's (Ted Lange) favorite singer, Roxy Blue (Diahann Carroll), becomes his lover. Talky Robert Tanner's (Jim Nabors) popularity increases when fellow passengers think he may be a jewel thief. Bert Fredericks (David Groh) plans his wife Denise's (Michele Lee) birthday party, but she thinks it's a murder plot. Written by Maisie Fleckum

Ruth Gordon is the meddling grandmother to exasperated Patty Duke Astin and she is determined to marry off her granddaughter and quickly. An old and forgotten comedian (Phil Foster) asks cruise director Julie (Lauren Tewes) to let him do a stand-up bit in the showroom, to repay a debt of her dad, who he assisted once. Four college buddies are on board and they are kidding and placing bets as to whether the one who is a virgin (Robert Hegyes) will be able to change his status before the ship docks back in San Pedro; the virgin (Hegyes) and a fellow passenger (Maureen McCormick get together and he must decide whether to have sex in order to win the bet. Written by lemoviecritic

Identical twins Ellen and Helen Edwards (played by Diana Canova) have only one ticket so they've planned it out, courtesy of an alarm wrist watch, that only one of them is out of the room. This causes confounding and perplexing situations for Doc (Bernie Kopell) as Helen comes on to him, while her twin Ellen spurns him, creating some hilarious scenes. Julie's (Lauren Tewes) old heartthrob (David Hedison) is on the cruise by himself and as charming as she remembered but he was married at the time. And a delightful old couple (Ray Bolger and Harriet Nelson Nelson), who were married and survived their cruise on the Titanic, are thought to be a jinx, according to the old wive's tale as told by Gopher (Fred Grandy), as strange things begin to happen to crew members one by one. Written by lemoviecritic

A young boy (James Bond III) pays for the cruise with his paper route money and neglects to tell his parents (J. Jay Saunders and Marilyn Coleman), at home, that he bought the ticket and is on board. A wife (Sandy Duncan) cannot release the pain of her eight-year-old son's death and takes the boy under her wing. Julie (Lauren Tewes) is training a pretty, vivacious cruise-director trainee (Jo Ann Harris), who will stop at nothing to get Julie's job. Who can and will stop her? Bickering marrieds (Steve Allen and Polly Bergen) pose as swinging singles, with each matching up with fellow passengers (Loni Anderson and Joshua Bryant). Written by lemoviecritic

When the Captain's father (Phil Silvers) comes on board, he drives his son nuts, so the Captain asks the crew to run interference. The Captain's father then meets one of the crew's staff (Judy Canova) and takes a liking to her. A passenger (Gary Burghoff) finds himself trapped in his cabin, when an attack dog comes on board, gets in his cabin and won't let him out. And three women (Jane Curtin, Joanna Kerns and Susan Heldfond), who were college friends, decide to play a game wherein they get a guy to say a word and, if he says it, they should hook up with that guy. And one of them (Curtin), gets the ship's repairman (Vincent Baggetta) to say it. Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com

Advice columnist Beverly Blanchard (Eva Gabor) neglects her husband, Russ (Leslie Nielsen), who thus spends time with a fellow passenger (Stephanie Blackmore). Capt. Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) wages war with a visiting chef, Antonio Borga (Al Molinaro). Julie's (Lauren Tewes) friend, Jeff Smith (Robert Urich), is separated from his wife, Gail (Pamela Franklin), but doesn't know that she's on board and carrying his child. Written by Maisie Fleckum

At Christmas, a lonely Capt. Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) alienates the crew by his lack of Christmas spirit. Ex-convict Dan Barton (John Gavin) meets his double-crossing law partner Walter Perry (Dean Santoro) on board and plans to get revenge, for being convicted of the crime the partner committed. Paul and Audrey Baynes (Shecky Greene and Florence Henderson) fantasize about divorcing each other. Minister Father Mike (Dick Sargent) chaperones six orphans back to the orphanage in Mexico. Written by anonymous

Will Geer is pitch perfect as the irascible old gentleman who finds a fifteen-year-old girl, who is a stowaway in his bathroom. There is lots of banter between him and the scamp, Bayn Johnson. One of Julie's (Lauren Tewes) brother's friends (Anson Williams) is looked at with interest by Julie, no longer a young scamp, herself, with braces. His cabin mate is an older Lothario (Tom Poston), urging him to put the moves on Julie. Julie arranges for two professional painters (Pat Morita and Arte Johnson) to paint the Captain's (Gavin MacLeod) suite with his favorite longed-for color, Singapore Sunset Saffron. Written by lemoviecritic

A reprobate steward (Bob Crane) is reunited with his long-lost daughter (Dori Brenner), who is traveling with her husband (Robert Hays); two honeymooners (Kathy Bates and John Rubinstein) encounter several mishaps during the cruise; a financially-strapped supermarket assistant manager (Bruce Solomon), traveling with his wife (Judy Luciano), poses as a wealthy, advertising executive. Written by anonymous

When Isaac's girlfriend (Tracy Reed) comes on board to spend some time with him, so does his mother (Pearl Bailey). And he's shocked to see that she and her male companion (Arthur Adams) are staying in the same cabin and he doesn't approve. And Julie books a divorced couple of entertainers (Don Adams and Nanette Fabray), who can't get along but have to, when Julie tells them that one of them will have to pay for their passage if they don't perform. And Gopher brings on board a chimpanzee, who goes around pilfering things but brings him in contact with a girl (Kim Lankford), who just had a nose job and is hesitant to remove the bandage. Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com

A husband and wife (Fernando Lamas and Michele Lee), as a famous Hollywood couple, arrive with paparazzi. She is adorned in a famous gigantic diamond which, of course, entices dim-witted bumbling crooks (Harold Gould, Karen Valentine, Larry Storch and John Schuck), in a delightful caper reminiscent of old Hollywood. A husband (Dan Rowan) is chagrined into bringing his wife (Juliet Mills) on the cruise when she finds the tickets for his mistress (Adrienne Barbeau) and himself, with some unexpected surprises. Two former attendees of a blind school (Desi Arnaz Jr. and Stephanie Zimbalist) are reunited. A masquerade night moves the plots right along. Written by lemoviecritic

A beauty contest on board ship divides a young couple (Maureen McCormick and Bobby Sherman); a proud black woman (Vernee Watson) is offended by the Uncle Tomfoolery of another passenger (Scatman Crothers); a reporter (Vicki Lawrence) tries to get a story on a scandal-tainted Congressman (Dick Van Patten). Written by anonymous

Stubing's (Gavin MacLeod) nephew (Peter Isacksen) comes on board to be trained to work on ships, like everyone in his family, but doesn't exactly do a good job at whatever he is told to do. Eventually, he reveals a secret to the crew that he can't tell Stubing. A man who stole a million dollars (Frank Converse) hooks up with a female passenger (Marcia Strassman) but when he reveals what he did, she reveals that she's a cop and intends to turn him in when they return. Two sisters (Pat Crowley and Marion Ross) come aboard and when one sister (Crowley) is attracted to a male passenger (Brett Halsey), her sister (Ross) is jealous because she feels neglected. Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com

A Russian man (Jack Bernardi) goes around the ship, repeating the same phrase. Two girlfriends (Laurette Spang and Debralee Scott) come aboard for the cruise; one girl (Spang) is very popular with the men passengers (Bob Seagren and Sal Viscuso) and the other girl (Scott) is ignored; the staff try to figure out which passenger is the Princess Cruise Lines inspector, one prospect is a man (Jim Backus) who criticizes the ship's procedures; a man (Paul Burke) and a younger woman (Susan Blanchard) spend a lot of time, together. Written by Chris Andrews

Two American women (Barbi Benton and Susan Silo) pretend they are French, in order to get men and gifts; Julie (Lauren Tewes) is wooed by a man (Frankie Avalon) who runs a computer-dating service and offers his computer matchmaking for the Valentine's Day cruise; a woman (Patty Duke Astin) believes another passenger (Ricky Nelson), who has amnesia, is a former lost-love. Written by Chris Andrews

An older married couple (Robert Mandan and Audrey Meadows) turns newlyweds (Robert Urich and Diana Canova) against one another with their bickering; a male passenger (Harvey Jason) uses a dating manual to hit on a woman (Georgia Engel) with a protective father (Herb Voland); a man (Harry Morgan) cheats the crew out of their emergency fund, to pay the passage for him and his wife (Priscilla Morrill). Written by Chris Andrews

Young man Bruce's (Mark Shera) parents (Monty Hall and Janis Paige) are determined to have him date other women on the cruise and not settle on marrying Ginger, who is not on board. So, Bruce and a fellow passenger (Laurie Prange) get together. A man (Leslie Nielsen) is having second thoughts, about age differences, in marrying a woman (Lynda Day George) who is 21 years younger. A new nurse (Elaine Joyce), on staff for the cruise, is a pretty ex-showgirl. Of course, Doc (Bernie Kopell) is hitting on her, and is a bit frustrated, when she does not return his advances. Written by lemoviecritic

A spunky gossip reporter (Marcia Wallace) is aboard to write an expose of lust on the high seas. A shy man (Paul Williams) has one week to marry or lose his inheritance. A woman (Barbara Rhoades) moves out of her chauvinist fiancé's (Dick Gautier) cabin. A suburban widow (Michele Lee) impersonates a glamorous Hollywood socialite. Written by Gary R. Peterson

A former prostitute (Caren Kaye) is harassed by an unhappy, married former client (Jack Carter), who threatens to expose her to her new love (Christopher George). Captain Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) crash diets for his high school flame (Jessica Walter), who no longer sees him as Stringbean Stubing. Two depressed widowers (Annette Funicello and Michael Callan) find comfort with each other. Written by Chris Andrews

Gopher (Fred Grandy) is fed up with Stubbing (Gavin MacLeod) always ordering him around. He meets a girl (Eve Plumb), who's a bit of a rebel, and encourages him to stand up to Stubbing and it ends with Gopher getting fired. A businesswoman (Diane Baker) comes on board and also a man (Pat Morita) who wants to buy her company and whom she is constantly turning down. So, he sends his associate (Gary Collins), who tries to charm her. He shows her an invention of his which his boss doesn't think is worth anything. And a guy (Antonio Fargas), who is married (Fay Hauser), goes on the cruise with his girlfriend (Jonelle Allen) and she begins to wonder where are they going in their relationship. Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com